


How It could have been.

by luna_l_good



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Community: snuna_exchange, F/M, POV Severus Snape, Post-War, Snuna- Freeform, not epilogue, suna exhcange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luna_l_good/pseuds/luna_l_good
Summary: What would have happened If Luna had made the choices the Professor Snape made when he was young.
Relationships: Luna Lovegood & Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood/Severus Snape
Kudos: 14





	How It could have been.

I never asked, but I should have when I saw her standing there. She was a prisoner of Malfoy Manor, and she didn’t belong here. Yet she stood with such confidence across the Dark Lord, telling him she wanted to help, the things she knew, the things she was telling him was betraying everyone she knew. This wasn’t the girl I taught at Hogwarts. Her once slivery eyes shone cold and somehow were full of malice. The Dark lord was enjoying it, knowing that one of Harry Potter’s friends was telling him all she knew, albeit there was a strange tibet thrown in there every now and then, it was information nonetheless.

Maybe he was desperate for news, or humoured by Miss. Lovegood, whatever it was, he actually praised her and instead of being sent back to the dungeons, she was to be sent to one of the rooms- confined there until he could fully trust her, but wanting to give her a prize for a job well done.   
And me? I was sent to teach her our ways because I was a Professor after all. Nodding to the Dark Lord, I took Miss. Lovegood pass the stairs to the dungeons and stepped onto the stairs leading to the rooms in the left wing. I gave her the spare room conjoined to mine. I’m a smart enough man to know when to keep my mouth shut and not to ask questions. Leading her into the room, I place wards on every entrance and exit. Going to the closest I pulled out a robe that was hanging in there. The Malfoy’s insist every closest is stocked with the necessities.

“Shower is in there, wear this for now. I’ll have clothes sent in the morning. I’ll see you in the morning, training begins early. Goodnight.” I watch her wave goodbye.

I knew I needed to help her, I refused to let her have a dark mark placed on her skin. There are two ways to avoid it, but I wasn’t sure how to proceed. She isn’t the same girl who sat in my class talking nonsense, I refuse to think she’s turned her back on her friends. This isn’t someone trying to survive..there is something more. She was talking with intent… she reminded me of me… when I turned to the Dark Lord.

I got her up the next morning, Narssica gave her some clothes until her new ones arrived. Miss. Lovegood’s wand had been snapped, the wand maker was told to make her a new one. The Dark Lord wanted her ready by the end of the month.

“Good Morning, Miss Lovegood. Ready for the day?” I didn’t give her a chance to reply.  
“Betraying your only friends, I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d do anything like that.” I saw her eyes flicker for a second.

“Friends? They aren’t my friends... “ She said, staring at me.

“Oh, I was under the assumption you were. Did you not go to Slughorn's party with Potter? I mean you did go to the Ministry with them.” I asked, taking a seat.

“Yes, then I considered them my friends then but we all make bad judgements at times. Don’t we Professor?” She said coldly.

“Indeed, Miss Lovegood. Let’s get on with your training then. Shall we? It wasn’t so much “training” as it was testing her loyalty to The Dark Lord. I was to make sure she was able to use certain spells, and who stood where on the hierarchy chain. She needed to know her place, I informed her that if he chose to marry her to one of the higher up’s, she would just be below him but to always mind her manners. I knew that the Dark Lord wanted Yaxley to be married to a pure-blood.

“Marry someone? Why would I need to do that?” She scowled.

“Because Miss. Lovegood, I do believe he might want to keep your loyalty a secret so he can use you against them. By putting the dark mark on your arm, it’s like putting a giant sign on your arm. I won’t lie, he seems to be humored by something you have to offer him. You weren’t on anyone’s radar. You’re only locked up due to the fact your father was spreading lies with that magazine he writes.” I spoke while looking at her, looking for any type of sign

“It’s called The Quibbler.” Her eyes looked sad before turning cold again. “ Not that it matters, it was what landed me in here. So I did what I had to do, to make sure I made it out alive.” And just like that I thought maybe there was hope.

“Indeed, Miss. Lovegood. Indeed. “

For the next week when I had time I trained her, she couldn’t do much until she had a new wand. The Dark Lord instructed the wandmaker to make her a new one, but it would be another week. So my training was just teaching the spells and what to do in situations when out on raids. The Forbidden curses are easy enough to teach through theory but it was entirely different without the actual practice of them. Her demeanor didn’t change any, she still looked cold, but I saw what I needed to see in her.

The Dark Lord wanted her married off, he didn’t want the mark on her as I suspected much to Bellatrix's disappointment. He hadn’t decided on who yet. I figured or hoped it would be Yakley or maybe even Draco though I’m sure Lucius and Narissa might have actually thrown a fuss then because she definitely wasn’t what they wanted in the family. I prayed it wasn’t Travers or someone lower like Grayback. Grayback wouldn’t let her survive for long if he married her.

A week later, her wand was ready. The Dark Lord called me to gather her in the sitting room. Bringing her in the wandmaker just stared at Luna. It wasn’t angry staring more like disbelief like he didn’t want to believe it was actually her. The Dark Lord nodded at him, he handed Miss.Lovegood her new wand.

“Good, this was made especially for you. Now test it out why don’t you.” THe Dark Lord said to her.

“What?” Miss. Lovegood stood there shocked for a moment.

“Weak, just like I thought.” He said, she quickly said as she bowed.

“Sorry my Lord. I was too busy admiring my new wand. Your request threw me off, what spell would you like me to use?” She was smart, I’ll give her that for her quick thinking.

“Cruciatus Curse” The Dark Lord replied, staring at her.

She nodded and raised her arm pointing at the wandmaker, he had closed his eyes and braced for the impact. I had taught her, but she needed to mean it. I had wondered if she could even do it. But instead of hitting the wandmaker, she hit Wormtail. He shrieked and hit the floor in pain. Miss. Lovegood dropped her wand to the floor and covered her mouth in shock. I knew her aim wasn’t bad, she knew what she was doing. She meant to hit Wormtail but I don’t think she knew she actually had it in her.

The Dark Lord laughed, the wandmaker just stood there. “Take her away Severus. She needs more training with her new wand. I expect her to be ready by the end of the week. Or else.” I nodded, Miss. Lovegood quickly grabbed her wand off the floor and bowed to him. I grabbed her pulling her towards her room. She looked pale. We made it to her room where she collapsed to the floor and vomited all over it. She was shaking and tears streamed down her face.

“Finally, what a normal reaction out of you.” I said, watching her. I sat on her bed, she heaved a few more times before anything else came out. I waved my hand and the vomit disappeared. I conjured up a glass of water for her.

She looked up at me, her silvery eyes no longer cold but filled with tears. “How do you do it?” She asked, her voice shaking.

“The difference between you and I, Miss.Lovegood is that I am not a nice person.” I stared down at her, the facade broken. She laid on the floor shaking until I picked her up and placed her in the bed, I sat next to her till she fell asleep.

The following day, I took her outside. She seemed way happier out here. I remembered it had been a few months since she’s been allowed out. I took us the long way around the huge yard before hitting the edge of the woods where I had placed a rabbit inside of a cage. I placed a spell on it that once I let it out, it would run but wouldn’t get far. The same spell placed on her in case she tried to run but I doubted she would. I knew we needed a few practice tries, if not more.

“Here we are.” I said leading us up the rabbit. “ You’ve used the Cruciatus Curse, now it's time to practice the Killing curse. I’ll let the rabbit out when you’re ready.” Miss. Lovegood stood there shocked.

“I’m NOT killing this innocent rabbit!” She said loudly, staring at me as if I had three heads.

“You are and you will Miss.Lovegood, do you think the people you’ll be after on raids are innocent? In the Dark Lord eyes, no one is innocent against him. If you have to kill, you have to kill. Now I’ll count to three, I’ll release it. One… two… three…” I waved my hand as the rabbit went running from its cage.

She raised her wand and feebly said the curse, I pulled the rabbit back to the cage.

“ Again” I said without even stopping.

“I can’t! It’s a rabbit!” she said, looking at me with tears filling her eyes.

“You must! He needs to know you can use this spell!” I replied” “You don't have a choice, this rabbit or a human. He rather you practice on a human and has one ready. You eat meat do you not? It’s still taking a life that way. If you are worried about waste I’ll tell Grayback to come get it later. Now AGAIN!” I shouted at her. I let the rabbit go.

“Bastard.” She said to me before turning and shouting “Avada Kedavra!” A flash of green, shot from her wand hitting the rabbit square in the chest, it flopped to the side and laid dead. Tears streamed down her face.

“I have been called a lot worse Miss.Lovegood, but at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not.” I glared at her. She shook with anger and regret.   
“Some people are not meant to be Death Eaters. You are not one of them” I said quietly

“And are you Professor?” She said, looking back at me.

“Yes. I am what I am.” I replied quietly.

“What is going to happen to me when they find out I’m not good enough.” She was still looking at me.

“If you are lucky? Death. I suppose.” I said. She nodded.

“I do not want to kill….”

“Then what made you do it? Turn against everyone?” I asked.

“When I was in the dungeons, Bellatrix tortured me. I could handle that, it hurt but I had them to think of. Then I was shown a memory, it was Draco’s. It showed them talking about me, it wasn’t nice things. They called me looney and looked horrified at the things I said or even wore. That hurt more than the torture… I decided then I wasn’t going to let them hurt me.”   
She was looking at the Manor when she finished talking.

“Everyone says things when they are mad or upset or when they don’t understand something. You are very hard to understand Miss. Lovegood. That isn’t a bad thing, nor is it the best. They are your friends.” I said back, her eyes filled with tears again. I did something I've never done before. I pulled her close, hugging her. She relaxed in my arms.

It was clear by the end of the week the Dark Lord didn’t want the mark on her. She was to be married, like Narssica. I wasn’t surprised, The Dark Lord did think women were weaker unless proven.

I was right, Yaxley was a choice but then so was I. I knew how Yakley was. She wouldn’t be treated badly but she would be his servant. I knew if I asked for her, I would get her. Yaxley wouldn’t argue it. I was the best option for her survival. So when asked if I would take her. I said yes. I said she had grown on me during the last few weeks of my training. It was set, the day after tomorrow. Friday night. She’d be my bride.

I went back to my room, about to grab my things before leaving for Hogwarts. I opened the door to her room, she was sitting on the floor, her back against the bed. She was reading a book from the shelf, she looked up at me.

“Hello” She said as she stood up quickly.

“We’re to be married on Friday, that’s the day after tomorrow.” Realizing she probably had no way of knowing what day it was. “ It was me or Yaxley. I figured you’d do fairer with me. “ Her face looked surprised…

“Would you rather Yaxley?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at her.

“No...no..you are good.” She stammered.

“It will have to be consummated. You’ll be checked. We’ll have the weekend by ourselves. I’ll take you my house away from this all. Good night, Miss. Lovegood.” I shut the door between our rooms. Leaning against the door I sighed, what a mess.

Friday night came fast enough. The “wedding” wasn’t a big affair, nor was it anything special. Yaxley was the officiate. The Dark Lord and Bellatrix were there as witnesses. The whole deal was over within an hour. Yaxley, bonded us together with the oldest wizarding traditional magic. Nothing was separating that bond. He had me kiss the bride, I gave the bride a quick kiss on the lips. The Dark Lord and Bellatrix clapped, more out of humor of the situation not out of happiness. I had Luna pack her bag before we were married. Once it was over, we both bowed and I floo’d us to my home.

I showed her around the house, not that there was much to it. I led her to my bedroom… our bedroom. She began to get ready for bed, she walked to the bathroom and changed, came out.

“Profess…” Miss. Lovegood began.

“My name is Severus, Luna. You should no longer call me that. Let me feel as if I’m not doing something entirely wrong here. It is a marriage of convenience for us both, it doesn’t mean anything. Do not be fooled that it will become anything more.” I said sternly. “Go to sleep, I’ll join you later I have some work to do. Goodnight.”

“Indeed Severus.” I heard her say as I walked out the bedroom door. I ended up working in my lab late before going to my room, complinating sleeping on the couch before climbing into my bed and laying down next to her.

Even though it was a marriage of convenience I wanted her to be comfortable. She didn’t seem bothered by this whole situation. Maybe she understood it was this or death. Or maybe she was just Luna.

On Saturday, I let her spend the day in the back garden. My wards wouldn’t let her leave, not that I thought she would. She spent the day tending to the long forgotten land. By the afternoon, the yard had been transformed. How she did it so fast, I wasn’t sure. She just used her hands. She had torn down all the vines and took out all the weeds that had grown there. She left a pile she had broken up and said it was for composting. Not that we would be here for that.

That night, I made supper for us. Nothing fancy just was potatoes and chicken. Luna offered to clean up the kitchen as I showered. As she showered, I set a fire up in my bedroom and the living room before popping some popcorn. Once she was done, she came out to the living room dressed in a simple bottoms and tank top.

I handed her the bowl of popcorn and gestured to her to sit next to me. I pulled out a book and started to read aloud. She snuggled up next to me, I felt myself tense up but considering what we were about to do, I made myself push past it. Allowing my body to relax with hers. I paused the book for a moment, looking down at her, she looked up and smiled at me. She fed me some popcorn. I put down the book and take the bowl from her.

“Ready?” She nodded. “Words, Luna.” I said to her, pulling her underneath me.

“Yes, Severus.” She looked up at me.

“Say my name again.” I asked her

“Severus.” She said. I smiled, down at her.

“Good, I’m going to start now okay?” She nodded, I kissed her, she began kissing me back. I apperated us to my…. our bed to continue in there.

Waking up the morning, I find myself holding onto a very naked Luna. I couldn’t help myself, I grinned pulling the blanket up higher on her. I allowed myself some more time in bed before we had to get up. Marriage of convenience had some perks of it’s own if I allowed it.

We didn’t have to be back at the Manor until Monday evening for the next meeting in which Luna was to attend. Her robes were delivered, she wasn’t required to wear ones like ours but she needed black wizard robes. I watched her sleep, her long blonde hair fell out of its ponytail hours ago. She would be sent back to classes and I had my own tasks to do. She’d spend her nights with me, at least I had that. No. Once this was over she’d be free and I’d be where I am. As free as she could be with how bonding. If we survived.   
I had things to do, I pulled the covers over her shoulders and left the bed.

I don’t know what time she got up, I worked in my basement the entire day coming out in the evening. I walked into the kitchen to find a pot simmering on the stove, the back door wide open and her in the garden. There was no way this was my garden. It was filled to the brim with Daffodils, Roses, Thistles, Clovers, Meadowsweet, Tiption’s weed, spices and Herbs. The entire garden was covered in various colors, not a spot was left.

“How in the world did you manage to grow all of this in a day?” I stood in the doorframe staring at her, she was tending over a bush and stood up laughing.

“Magic” She grinned at me.

“There is simply no way you could have done this.” She walked over to me, taking my hand and leading me into the garden.

“Why couldn’t I? It’s Magic, Severus. Just trust me. I planted things you can use for your potions and while they do need tending, they should be fine on their own with the magic I’ve performed.” She smiled at me.

“You made supper…”

“You really state the obvious don’t you? Yes, I took over the cooking once my mother passed away. It’s fairly easy. It's like brewing a potion and there’s always something new to learn.”

“Indeed” I learned long ago not to question her or you’d spend hours questioning her sanity and yours.

I thought she’d at least spend her nights with me. I was wrong, she was sent back to her dorm. I would rather her be with me full time. The Dark Lord allowed her on weekends to be with me. Dolohov would gather her on friday evenings making it look like she was back in the dungeons, due to her father’s stupidity .

I brought her back to the Manor the following Monday before she went back to school. Her and I sat in our room, she didn’t look nervous, but she kept twirling her hair between her fingers. Bellatrix came into the room, she was grinning.

“Be gentle Bellatrix. She’s mine. Not a toy for you to play with you.” I warned her. Knowing if the Dark Lord had given her other orders she’d follow him.

She grabbed Luna by her legs and vanished her pants, placing her wand between her legs. She took her time. Luna made a sound of discomfort. I went to step forward when she spoke. “Well.. well, you did it Severus. I didn’t think you would. I had a little bet with Yaxley, you see. I told him, we’d find her untouched. I owe him a present. Mind if I borrow her?” She grinned from ear to ear as if I’d say yes.

“Leave now. You should know Bellatrix I don’t share.” I reminded her as she left the room.

A month had passed before I was able to be fully alone with her again, as alone we could be in the Manor. We were both busy doing tasks. She looked worn, she was attending class in the day and whatever the Dark Lord needed in the evenings or weekends. I saw her at some meals but not many. She tried to feed me information that would keep the other students safe but at the same time looking like she was telling useful information.

Grabbing her hand, I led her to our bathroom in the manor and turned on the taps. Hot water rushed out, filling it nicely. I added bubbles and swirled it around with a simple non verbal spell.

“Undress and get in.” I tell her. I placed a warming spell on the tub, then added some potions for tiredness, rejuvenation.

“Well you join me? There’s enough room for both of us.” She asked as she took off her robes.

“If you wish.” Luna nodded. “Get in, I’ll be right back with something.” Again Luna nodded.

I walked out of the room, summoning for a house elf. I ordered him to bring food and drink. Then grab the book and walk back to the bathroom.   
Luna was sitting on the tubs edge, swirling the water around with her hand.

“I said get in.” I looked down at her, she looked terribly thin, her body also looked purplish.

“I figured you’d get in first. ” Luna informed me.

She wasn’t wrong, I quickly undressed and stepped into the hot water. I then guided Luna to sit in front me. I grabbed the book, had her lean back on me, placed the book in front of her and began to read.

Even with the warming spell, the water was beginning to cool. Luna seemed a lot more relaxed, she looked better. The house elf announced the food was in the room.

I looked down to see Luna smiling at me. “Thank you Severus, this has helped.” I gave her a small smile, putting the book down on the floor. I turned her head back towards mine, giving her a kiss.

“Your welcome. Now let’s get you to eat something.”

Luna sat on the bed in a white robe that was much too large for her. I pulled on some sweat pants and sat beside her.

“Eat.” I told her again as I handed her a sandwich.

“I’m not that hungry.” She muttered but still took the sandwich.

“Humour me.” I said, taking a bite. I watch her nibble it slowly.  
She ate almost the whole sandwich before being full. I cleared away the dishes. Laying back onto the bed onto the pillows. Luna climbed onto me straddling my hips.I ran my hands up her back bringing her closer to me. Capturing her lips in mine. I hear her laugh.

“May I ask what is so funny?” She smiles at me.

“I just thought about if I tried this at Hogwarts.” She laughed again. “ I do not think I could shag you at the school. It would be crossing a line even I didn’t know I had.” I replied, staring up at her, her long blonde locks draping over us. “Shall we continue?” She says as she smirks at me.   
We spent the weekend together, I brewed healing potions and whatever else the Dark Lord needed, she did what she needed to do. Some even I wasn’t allowed to know about.

Monday came much too fast for my liking. We arrived back at the school and the Carrow’s had let it slip that Luna was married to me. The glares I got were what I was used to, but now the staff couldn't even hide their distaste in me. The Carrow’s were punished, for letting it slip. Now it would be harder to get information. She was allowed to stay with me at night now. The glares became worse once she no longer returned to her dormitory.

Luna wasn’t expected to go on raids or anything particularly harsh. She was put in charge of the prisoners. It suited her well, caring for others. Healing their wounds came easy to her, healing them came almost second nature to her. We knew he would test her sooner or later.

The day came when he finally wanted to test to see how loyal she was to him.   
Luna was to go on a raid with Bellatrix, Yakley and Dolohov to a shop in Diagon Alley. He wanted materials from there that the shopkeeper refused to give him. The Dark Lord wanted Luna to go and get them. At least he wanted him unharmed, unless he refused to give up the goods to Luna. Bellatric hoped he would refuse. She was forbidden to do harm only because we had no idea where he had the materials. Once he refused she was allowed to do what she did best... torture.

“How do you think she’ll do?” He stood by the fireplace, his dark robes barely touching the flames.

“I won't lie, my lord. She hates hurting things. Even if they deserve it, she rather they learn from their own mistakes by natural selection then causing it herself. But she won’t fail. She’s a Ravenclaw after all, failure isn’t an option in her eyes.” He nodded and said nothing before turning his attention away from me. That said I had hoped she could be very persuasive.

Once I was alone with Luna I reminded her of everything she needed to know. “ Remember, in our hierarchy I’m above the rest but just below Bellatrix when we married that made you just below me. But cross them and you're screwed. I cannot help you because I’m not there. Do what they tell you, understood? They want you to fail.” Luna nodded, not saying a word.

“Be safe, understand?” I pulled her close to me, holding her tightly.

“I thought you said you weren’t a nice person?” I heard her mutter from my chest.

“I’m nice because I’m getting something from you.” She looked up at me, I stared down at her. I pulled her in tighter.

We arrived at the shop, Bellatrix took the lead and us into the shop. Dolohov stood outside the door, the shop suddenly closed. Yaxley stood far off to the right as if looking for something on the wall. Bellatrix stood closer by me, like an anxious child waiting for a piece of candy.

Walking up to the counter, I greeted him as an old friend. “Hello, I’m here to collect the materials the Dark Lord wanted from you.”   
The man stuttered looking at the other three in the shop, I saw him glup.   
“I’m sorry, I have nothing to give him, I do not have what he seeks.”

“I’m afraid you do sir. I understand you may not want to give it to him but it's in your best interests that you do. He’s offered you money, and safely you’ve declined both. If you are looking for something more, he may be willing but he’ll have to come down here himself.” I stared at him, he continued to look behind me.

Bellatrix chose at the moment to smash several potions to the floor.

“Oops! My bad.” Bellatrix laughed twirling her wand in her hands, Yaxley looked   
amused.

“Like I said before sir, it’s in your best interests to give him what he requires.”   
Behind me, I could hear more things being tossed to the floor. “Do you think you smash like this if I dropped you from a height.” Bellatrix said from behind me.  
“Your daughter, she’s in second year isn’t she? She’s really good at Charms.” He turned to look at me and nodded. “Please sir, I require those materials.

The shopkeeper nodded. “I’ll get you what you require. Please just stop.” He hurried to the back.  
“Good Job.” Yaxley said to me. I turned to my right and there he stood looking at me.

The shopkeeper returned moments later carrying a large valet bag. Handing it to me. “Here, take it. Just please leave!” He stammered. Taking the bad, I nodded.   
“Thank you.”

“Crucio!” Bellatrix gleefully said from behind me.

“Stop! He gave us what he needed!” I shouted. I felt Yaxley’s hand on my shoulder. “Well almost good job.” He tossed some coins onto the counter and pulled me out of the shop as Bellatrix played.

They arrived back, Luna handed the Dark Lord the bag without a word.She stepped back and Bellatrix went forward telling the Dark Lord everything. I stood too far to hear. Dolohov left the room, Yaxley stood near me not saying a word.   
Luna stood back from me, I tried to enter her mind but she was completely closed off.

“Crucio” Bellatrix had her wand pointed at Luna who screamed and was on the floor in pain. It took everything in me not to intervene.   
“Enough Bellatrix. She accomplished the task. She should be rewarded, yes she was careless at the end. But Severus warned me she hated seeing things get hurt. Severus, take her home, she’s done well. You were right, she was able to accomplish the task without the need for violence. No wonder Bellatrix disagrees.”

“Yes my lord.” Bowing to him, I go over and pick Luna off the floor and Apperate out of the Manor back to my house.

Landing in the living room, I put Luna down on the couch where she promptly voimits from the torture and Apperation.   
“I told you not to cross her, and look at what you did. You could have given yourself away. You had one task and you could not even follow that.” Shouting at her, I waved my wand and the vomit disappeared.

“I did what I was told to do, I followed the directions better than her.” Luna stood up as she spoke. “ Do you think that matters to someone like Bellatrix? You’ve been at her hands, do you want to go back there? DO YOU?” Roaring at her, I turned and started to walk out of the room.

“I rather myself than someone innocent.” I heard her say, turning back I reminded her. “No one is innocent of his war. Remember that.” I left and slammed the door to our room. Getting ready for bed, I left two healing potions on the counter sink.

I laid awake for a long time, Luna hadn’t come to bed by the time I fell asleep. I woke up surprised not to see her beside me. Getting out of the bed, I go to use the washroom seeing the potions still on the counter. I grab them and I leave the room looking for her.

Looking for her all over the house, I couldn’t find her. Walking into the kitchen I see the back garden door open. Entering outside, the sky is visible tonight. That doesn’t often happen here. I see Luna laying on the ground, wrapped in a   
blanket looking up at the stars.

“Are you not cold?” I asked as I walked up to her.

“No, I used a warming spell. Care to join me?” She asked as she held the blanket open for me.

“You want me to lay on the cold hard ground with you?” she nodded. “If you wish.” I laid down next to her.   
“It’s never this clear enough here to see the stars.” I muttered as Luna tucked the blanket in around me.   
“Magic Severus.” She replied as if it was that simple.

“Remembering the potions, I hand them to Luna to take them, she shook her head.   
“I’m fine.” she replied. “ No, you’re not. The effects of the Crucio curse hurt.  
Humor me and take them. You need your strength.” She took the vials from my hand and drank them in two gulps.

“Happy now?” She asked, laying back down next to me. “Actually no, I never not want you to come to bed. I’ve gotten used to you being with me.”

“Is that so Severus?” Luna pulled herself up and leaned over me. I nodded, looking up at her. Luna slowly undid my shirt and pants, she began kissing down my chest.

“What are you doing?” I asked her, about to point out we were in the garden.

“Seducing you.” She replied matter of factly. “Hrm, do I need seducing? I asked as continued to kiss me. I watched her nod her head yes. “Very much so, you are stressed and this shall help.”

Nodding, I let Luna contine, before pulling her up and pinning her underneath me. Locking her hands above her head and kissing her. “My turn.”

Waking up in the garden next to Luna was something else, her warming spell lasted us through the night. She still slept soundly next to me, wrapping her up in the blanket I stood up and carefully took her to bed.

She woke up moments later, pulling me back into the bed. “Stay with me.” She wrapped me in the blanket. “Work has to be done, we cannot stay here forever.” I told her as I pulled her close.

“Severus, do you regret what you’ve done?” What she asked me surprised me, we didn’t have talks like this.

“Yes and no. I said it before I am what I am. I have no monsters under my bed. Just the ghosts of my past haunting me with the what ifs of life. Almost every decision I have made has shaped me in one or another. Why do you ask?” I looked down at her.

“I was wondering if I would regret what I did but I came to the conclusion that no matter the outcome I would take responsibility for my actions. I let fear and anger rule me, something I don't often do. I made a choice and while I do intend to correct the wrong it doesn’t stop the damage that I caused. Yet at the same time, I wouldn’t have been given this chance with you. It’s a conflicting feeling. But I don’t regret it because of the time I got to spend with you.” She laid her head down on my chest before continuing. “I know it’s a marriage of convenience, more for my survival than anything and I cannot thank you enough for that sacrifice.”

“I let her words sink in. “I did not sacrifice much, please be aware of that. I would also like to apologize for shouting yesterday. I have seen what they can do, I did not want to see it happen to you.” I spoke softly, my hand was running up and down her back.

“Oh I know Severus. We should get up, work has to be done.” She went to pull away but I held her tighter. “Yes, we should.” I replied but didn’t let her go. I held her close. If only for a few more minutes.

Luna was at Malfoy manor for the Easter break. I was to join shortly once I had finished some tasks at the school. Most of the students had gone home for the break, a wise choice indeed.

She was in the dungeons when Potter, Weasley and Granger were brought in. From what I heard, Dobby had Apperated her out with the wandmaker and the other prisoners before coming back and helping Harry and them escape. The Dark Lord was pissed. Three people we had spent months looking for got away, one of ours was dead. Bellatrix was certain her knife had hit the house elf. Many were punished, mainly the Malfoy’s whose house elf it used to be. Who by this point looked broken and done. I suspected that they wished the elf had taken them too.

And I.... I was alone, all because Potter used the Dark Lord’s name. Stupid boy.

Not even a month had passed before The Dark Lord summoned me to the Battle, my job was done, once I left Hogwarts I knew I had the minimum chance of survival. I had of course hoped I would but I knew the percentage. What I didn’t expect it to be from the Dark Lord himself, a follower yes but him no. When Nagini pierced my neck with her fangs, I knew I was done for. Dying alone in the Shrieking Shack, the Potter and his minions came. I gave them my memories, why... I guess to clear some of my wrong doings. Only to prove I wasn’t a complete arse and give many people conflicting views on me. Finally my thoughts turned to Luna, I hoped she was alive and safe. She would be okay, she always was. I laid there contemplating my life choices that brought me to this point.

I woke up in St. Mungo’s two weeks later. I could barely talk, it was no more than a whisper. I was given potions upon potions. I wasn’t allowed to have visitor’s beside the ones they deemed fit. I was questioned, I was berated by officials because of my marriage to Miss. Lovegood and was informed they were trying to find a way to null it. I had assumed her wishes. They hadn’t been able to find a way. No surprise there. We were bonded in Traditional Wizard marriage rituals, those are meant to last till death of both parties. The Dark Lord wasn’t stupid. If it wasn’t for Potter having my memories I know where I would have landed. He saved my arse. My hospital room was locked down, too many unwanted media visitors trying to get in or some angry followers who hadn’t been caught yet.

No one would tell me anything about her. I demanded to know, she is my wife. All I was told is that she is alive and safe. Potter came in and I demanded to know. All he could do was shrug, and tell me “I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough”, useless boy. No one would tell me a damn thing. I could only think she wanted nothing to do with me. Who could blame her. I had told her many times I was only with her as a marriage of convenience. I was wrong.

Being stuck in this bed with nothing to do except be questioned with barely any talking abilities is tedious at best. How did they expect me to talk? I showed them my memories many times. I allowed them to see more than I thought I could. I was given papers daily with my morning meal, I read them from page to page hoping for a sign of her... anything. But she was never mentioned. Her name wasn’t among the dead, which I knew but they could be lying to me to keep me from trying to find out what happened to her. A name I didn’t expect to see was her father’s. He wasn’t at the Battle, he was listed among the people who had passed prior and the days following due to the Dark Lord’s followers.

By the time I was released from St Mungos, thankfully St. Mungos and not Azkaban. 3 .. almost 4 long months had passed. I had regained most of my voice, the dressings for my wound were gone. A scar had formed, a reminder of what happened.

I was finally allowed to Apparate home at long last. I was a free man. Arriving in my house I expected a cold and empty house as I last left it, a few days before the Battle. Landing in my living room, I immediately knew my house wasn’t empty nor was it cold. I had my wand out and already ready, but my wards weren’t broken into. They willingly let someone in.

My house was filled with color and warmth.I had never seen it like this before. The sun seemed to shine in when there was no sun. A wonderful smell filled that air. There was not a speck of dust or cobwebs anywhere. The living room had fire going. Good for the cold day. The couch had a large handmade blanket on it, the end table had a vase with yellow daffodils on it. Looking down the hall every door was open, something I never did.  
I walked towards the kitchen and a pot was simmering on the stove, the cause of the wonderful smell I assumed, the table was set with two sets of plates and utensils another vase sat in the middle.

The door to the garden was open, I walked towards it. The smells of the garden hit me as soon as I stepped outside. It was an explosion of mostly green and other colors, herbs and other rare plants grew all around. It was sunny when it definitely wasn’t sunny outside. Outside the house was cold and wet, typical weather. But here it was a paradise.

I saw her, sitting on a blanket in the middle of the garden. A blue blanket spread over the grass, she was holding a book reading out loud. I walked past the small patio table towards her. I put my wand away, still staring at her.

She finally looked up at me with a smile. “You’re late you know, supper is almost ready.” I fell to my knees beside her, she looked tired but many still did. I pulled her into a hug breathing her in scent.

“You’re here.” Was all I managed to get out.

“Of course. I'm sorry, I completely took over your house. I knew it was only a marriage of convenience but once I learned we had been bonded together. I knew where I needed to be. The wards were still open to me, I stayed at Hogwarts for a bit but it didn't feel right. I wanted to feel safe and at your home I did. I had hoped you wouldn’t mind as long I kept it clean and didn’t paint anything without your permission.” She smiled before continuing. “Only a very select few know where I am. The Wizarding World had a very fun time finding out about us.” She laughed, looking down before smiling again at me.

“There is no need to be sorry. This house is as much yours now too. No would tell me about you. I only knew that you were alive but I still wondered if I was told wrong.” My throat started to feel tight.

“They didn’t tell you? How silly of them. I told them too. Oh Severus, the worry you must have been through. I tried to see you many times but once the media became aware it became much more difficult. Because they weren’t certain what side you were really on they were trying to protect me. They thought you forced me to marry you.” She took the palm of her hand and held my face with it. I l closed my eyes and rested there for a moment.

I didn’t know what to say. I just pulled her close and held her. Then a little cooing noise came from the other side of Luna. There sat a tiny wiggling little bundle.

“Severus, there’s something you should know... there’s one more reason they wanted to keep me from you.” Luna pulled away turning before picking a small tiny bundle.

“There’s someone you should meet… before you decide if you want me… us to stay.” She brought the tiny bundle forward. “They were supposed to tell you but I’m guessing they didn’t.”

A tiny baby boy peered out the green blanket he was wrapped in. This was who she was reading out loud too.

“He doesn’t have a name yet, he’s only a month old. We've been by ourselves since he was born, I haven’t let alone come here. I always go to Weasley's home, I gave birth there. We thought it would be better than St. Mungo’s with the media looking for us both.” Luna was rambling, I did the only logical thing I took my son and held him for the very first time.

It was home.


End file.
